Unfortunately, I’ma Be the Bearer of Bad News

Yup, that is the topic today. That thing that everyone around you feels. I’ma say it to you. I may not be at a place that it comes out like butterflies and sugar cane, but I will bear the message. Does it make me a tough friend? yeah. I’m a catalyst. Yeah I have a lot of fire. And I’ve had to take a lot of fire from others. Does it give me the option to deny their truths just because it felt like a sucker punch to the gut (literally)? I guess it does, but you know what IS the truth?

If I DON’T TAKE THE LESSON THE NEXT TIME IT COMES AROUND IT WILL BE WAY MORE THAN A SUCKER PUNCH!

Seriously. I really feel that if the universe has gotten to the place where that lesson has to sucker punch me to see it and receive it — I have co-created THAT! The best thing I can do is to let me ego receive it. Not be victim to it. But to let someone else’s truth – no matter how it’s shared, to burn all that is not true in. me. Truth will take the fire and only be refined.

It’s obvious when people are projecting and shifting the target in order not to respond. And it is OK. It is a hard, shitty position to be put in. I freaking HATE IT.

But if I’m told I’m a bum because the work that ‘was so important’ that I poured my heart, soul, time and money into for 5+ years isn’t working out yet. Gaaaaahhh. There’s some truth in that. I have a responsibility to my own bottom line. I have a responsibility to my own vitality. Will my initial emotions about it direct me to reject the messenger? Yup. I’d like to punch the messenger, frankly.

Also, I’m coming to realize that the sucker punch feeling happens because it actually Strikes a Chord In Me. It is a calling back to that energetic cord. In that case a big vitality and self value wake up call that I am still digesting because I want the Whole Lesson. I want the Whole vitality. I want All my worth. So it’s worth my time perusing that statement more deeply within even though that person is an a$S! Lol. But WHO would have had the balls to Say It To Me? When I receive the lesson, it engenders a feeling of gratitude – even if I Don’t share that with the jerk who said it.. (lol)

Or. I can choose to Not be accountable and pretend my suffering is someone else’s the fault – the system’s fault, my partner or no partner’s fault, my trauma’s fault, my disability’s fault (so many options!). And the suffering will grow.

Whatever choice I choose will grow something, so I’ll make damn sure, if you ask me, to let you know the secret. Know if I bother to go anon something that you are worth my words, harsh as they feel.

: *

PS ~ triggering people left and right, drop me a line if you want in!